Changes

People changes.

When I was waiting for my order to arrive at my table, a woman came towards me. She asked, "You're xxxxx right?". I said, "Yes". In my head, I was wondering how did she know that name. Only my family and old friends knew that. So I asked her back, "How do you know me?". I honestly couldn't remember her. She look so matured (with make-up etc.). She answered, "Its me Roziah, your elementary school classmate." I was a bit surprised, and I stared at her face trying to remember her in school and then, yes its her. I used to go to her house while waiting for afternoon class.

I said sorry that I could not recognized her. I really do. Eventually, I asked her back how she could remember me. She said I haven't changed that much even with glasses.

Well, perhaps I haven't changed physically, but inside me have changed, a lot. When I entered in the 30's I noticed that I'm not afraid to talk to strangers anymore. I used to be really quiet. There was this tournament, a muay thai competition, and there were lot of guys. So one of them came to me talking about fighting and stuff and eventually he asked about my interest. Therefore, I honestly said that I like karate, and I'm looking to finish my blackbelt soon. So all we talk is about martial arts. When the show ended, he asked my number, and I gave it to him. I didn't think of anything, I was only thinking that Oh this is another who's interested in martial arts.

Then the next morning an sms text came, I ignored it because I didn't know the number. Then came the call, that too was ignored. Then another text came, explaining that he was the guy from the other night. Oh, I knew him. But why his messages was asking about unimportant stuff, like have you eaten already? Dude, what kind of question is that. So ignored him and the rest of his messages.  

Working towards my PhD, I became a lonely person. Even though I wanted to talk to somebody but there were nobody to talk to and therefore, I started to watch dramas. During that time, students in USM can download a bulk of dramas. You name it, Malay, Chinese, Koreans and Japanese, complete with subtitle. After the disputes of copyright came out, I found a fan site that offered those stuff. I watched while eating, at least there were something going on. The most thing that I liked to watch was comedy, like Maharaja Lawak Mega. But that came only once in a while and these days, they're boring to death. Then I watched Korean Varieties, I got hooked  with them until now.

One thing, if anything, I wanted to say sorry to my old friends. I did not intend to hurt their feeling, if I ever did. It is just that I'm not mature enough in those days, even now I think I'm still immature. Oh God, my number is increasing but my mind is not.

After the Viva and Corretion

Thank God that I've passed my viva with minor correction. I was given 6 months to submit the final thesis. I said to myself, I can make it in a month. So, I did. It took another month for the process of correcting small mistakes, and the time for the examiner to do the final checklist. All in all, I finished it.

Currently I'm awaiting my senate letter and while waiting, I just received a news from my supervisor that my paper regarding the core content of thesis was rejected. He said that, it is not because of my content, but it was their current policy not to receive any paper at that time being. They want to limit the submission paper per year so as to increase their integrity on their journals. So, now I'm back to work for my paper, a bit lesser than working for a thesis , but the work is still the same.

It has been a month, I haven't change or amend anything about my paper. I bet my supervisor is now furious about it but he doesn't show it.

I just need to not give too much leisure to myself and change my habit. That's all.

-nw-